Carolyn Ortiz on navigating motherhood in the music industry

The Mamas in Music Podcast is hosted by Claire London in connection with the Mamas in Music non-profit organization. This episode features Carolyn Ortiz.

As a seasoned Marketing and Operations Executive, Carolyn Ortiz has built a 20-year career specializing at the dynamic intersection of Music, Business Development, and Brand Marketing. Her journey has encompassed pivotal roles at renowned organizations such as Universal Music Group, Chanel, and Viacom. In 2022, she embarked on a new chapter as Partner and Chief Operating Officer of the record label Big.Ass.Kids and music community The B.A.K Play.Ground. She also serves as a strategic leader and trusted advisor to small business owners, entrepreneurs, and creative talent as owner of Reflections Consulting since 2020.

You can listen to this podcast episode and other Mamas in Music podcasts on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Xn1LfOJgLdIqmT9fUAUFr The following is a transcription of the episode.

Carolyn Ortiz

Claire: Happy holidays, everybody. I am so excited to have the wonderful Carolyn Ortiz on the podcast today for our final episode of the year. Carolyn is co-founder of Big.Ass.Kids and The B.A.K Play.Ground, which is a really incredible global music community. She's also a mama of two, and she's been working in the music industry for over 15 years, so she's got a lot of great advice. And I love this conversation, excited to share it with you today, and I'm wishing you all a happy holiday season with your friends and family.

Carolyn: I'm so happy to have you finally, thank you. I'm so excited to be here. I love being a mom, yeah.

Claire: And I just, you know, as everybody knows, like, I just love talking to other moms in music, whether they're artists or on the business side or anywhere in between, because we can all like, relate to each other no matter what. And also, there's these really interesting different experiences and advice and like, wisdom we can gain from one another.

Carolyn: Yeah, absolutely. Like Rihanna, I think, the other day, posted about how it's like, cool to be a soccer mom. And I was like, Yes, it is, yes, yeah. I love being a soccer mom.

Claire: So tell everybody how many kids you have, first of all, and then, like, what exactly you're doing right now in the music industry?

Carolyn: Yeah, absolutely. I have two babies. They're not babies. My daughter, Ryan, is 11. She's in sixth grade. My son, Junior, is in fourth grade. He's nine and a half. Very fun age, almost 18 months apart to the day. They're best friends. They are joyful. They are full of love. They are warm and kind and good human beings, which makes me happy. Um, they're just fun and a lot of energy, and it's- they're just good. And right now, in music, I run Big.Ass.Kids. So Big.Ass.Kids is the parent company. Underneath Big.Ass.Kids, we have our music division, which, guess I'll tell you first, we're launching distribution next month, so we're currently in beta with distro, coming out next year with the full distribution platform in partnership with Too Lost and EVEN, so direct-to-fan platform. We also do a lot of music projects like 'See You Next Year' and 'Another 48 Hours' playlist series. So, the music side is really, really cool. That's what we initially launched as. And then we have our Play.Ground and our Artist Services Division, where we connect vetted music professionals in a digital community with music artists who are looking to hire or get consultation or just talk to someone, you know, in music. Claire: Well, that's how I met you. So that's super cool there, you know, yeah. Carolyn: Yeah, you know. I've been in music for such a long time. I started as a publicist, and I've always hated that artists get taken advantage of, and they spend a lot of money on services, and they don't get their ROI or... Or you'll pay for something, and it's like, "Oh, that was like five grand I could have spent on my kids, but I just gave it to you as a publicist, and I've gotten nothing for it." So, my mission with the Play.Ground and our Artist Services Division was to be a safe space for artists to come and to hire. And then, when all the layoffs started happening, realizing that our colleagues actually need as much support as music artists, we launched the B.A.K sandbox, which is our charity fundraiser, to raise funds so we can provide music professionals who have been impacted by the layoffs with mental health support, neurodivergent support, career coaches, a transition period, right? So, if you've gotten laid off, you can come to the Play.Ground and we will transition you into your next career move, right? We will help you... just be a sounding board. What is- what are your transferable skills? A lot of people give advice like, "Oh, you have transferable skills. You can go into a different industry." Even if you've gotten laid off, if you work in music, you want to stay in music. You're here for a reason. It's a passion, it's a love. So, helping people stay in music is really important to me. And then, what else do we have- Editorial? We have a bunch of kind of other random things, but that's meat and potatoes.

Claire: Yeah. I mean, how do you manage all of those different lanes? I mean, I guess you obviously have people that you work with, but it's very ambitious and that's a lot to manage. I mean, it's so amazing, and it's so cool, and it kind of feels like it came just at the right time, you know?

Carolyn: Yeah. I think- think it really worked out. I manage- I'll be honest, I have an incredible partner, le'Roy Benros. He's been in music for a really long time. He sits in our recording Academies. Really cool, smart guy, um, with vision, you know, and he's committed to his vision. So, when I partnered with him, we kind of put our brains together, and we like to try out big ideas. So-

Claire: Yeah.

Carolyn: We've tried out many, many big ideas in the last... I'd say, two and a half years. we've been partnered on Big.Ass.Kids, and we feel like this year we were able to lay the framework of what the business should be with these different divisions. And in 2025, we imagine and hope that all of these seeds we've planted and the framework we've built will be able to now expand and grow.

Claire: Yeah, so cool. And you know, we are like- the Moms in Music team is such a big champion of yours and of Big.Ass.Kids in general, so-

Carolyn: Thank you.

Claire: I want to share it more with our community, too, for those who don't know or would maybe need services or want to get involved and get in the circle group and all that stuff, so, um, and-

Carolyn: Thank you.

Claire: I want to talk a little bit about... before that, and like, when your kiddos were- were young, and what were you doing then, and how did you make this transition and- and all those different things of like, how was it for you when you were, you know, really a mom with young kiddos, because that's kind of the trickiest time for-

Carolyn: Yeah.

Claire: -for every mom in music, for sure.

Carolyn: Yeah. I'll be honest. That was really hard for me. Yeah, I separated from their dad when my son was three, my daughter was four, so I was a single mom in Brooklyn, and a fourth floor walkup for a while. And I say the fourth floor walkup because it was particularly difficult during COVID, with young kids trying to lug up groceries and Target and all the other things and not having a backyard. So, when they were little, it was really hard for me. And before COVID, I had a nanny who was really helpful, but I worked Universal [Music Group], so I wasn't leaving the office until seven, eight o'clock at night, and sometimes she'd have to drop the kids off to me in the office, and they would come hang out with me until we went home. It was a lot of sacrificing time with them. I wasn't as present as I am now. And then, when COVID hit, I realized my three-year-old was reading, like he was capable of reading very quickly. Learned how to read Dr. Seuss books very quickly. And I'm like, I have to be here, and it struck me really deeply that I cannot go back to full time. Claire: Like, "I miss this."

Carolyn: Yeah, "I miss this," and I'm not benefiting my kids, and I don't care what I achieve in this world, if my kids are not getting the love and nurturing they need, then this isn't working for me. So, I decided not to go back to work, I left UMG, and have been home since, kind of working on my own stuff as an entrepreneur since September 2020. And I haven't looked back, and it's difficult. As I'm sure you know, as a music artist, you're an entrepreneur. It's not easy, but it's the best thing I've ever done, was just, decide to be fully present with my kids and-

Claire: Yeah.

Carolyn: And now that they're older, it's easier.

Claire: I'm hearing that a lot too from other moms. The combination of like, motherhood and COVID, like, really shifted a lot of people's trajectories and what they wanted to do. And some of it, like, either streamlined or they quit their corporate job, you know, like, a lot of different things happened. Some of it really for the better, I think ultimately, because we are- I'm able to be home, too, a lot, and I love that. And, you know, I'm just seeing that a lot. And I think it's partly- COVID gave us all kind of- we could see that we could work from home.

Carolyn: Yeah. It gave us perspective.

Claire: Yeah! I mean, it was horrible that it was- then it took that, you know, to do that. But definitely, I guess, a silver lining, if there is one, is that a lot of women were able to work from home more, and a lot of women in music were able to, like, either create their own thing or shift or do something, so, um, I think it all worked out.

Carolyn: And also dads too. You know, I see a lot of my dad friends way more present with their kids and their- their wives or partners than ever before, because they realize being home with their family unit is much more important than, you know, being at work all day and- A love for being a dad, I think, um, really came out during COVID, which I which I absolutely love.

Claire: That is true also, yeah. Very good point. So, now that you're kind of fully in your entrepreneurship, wearing hats, all the different hats, and everything like that, and your kiddos are a little bit older, you know- How are you finding, like, the industry these days? Do you feel like it's become more welcoming to moms in your kind of sphere? You know, for artists, it's sort of tricky- But in your world, do you feel like there is more of a, like, a welcoming feeling?

Carolyn: I think that it is more normal. I think it really depends. If you- It depends on the role, it depends on the company you're working for. As an entrepreneur, people- like- My kids come first. And there's not pushback there, which I appreciate.

Claire: Right.

Carolyn: And that lack of pushback, I think, is new. If I say I cannot be somewhere because I have soccer practice on Thursday at 6pm, there's not a question. It's not like, "Oh, but can you?" That is- that is my answer. It's a "no" and, and I don't get any like, "Oh, but you should be here." People understand.

Claire: Yeah, that's good, yeah.

Carolyn: But then I do see kind of more very high-powered executives who work at companies where they don't have that option, where it's like, they still have to separate the two. And I don't know a solution for that, right? I think that's- I'm not in that position, so I can't speak on it, but I don't see much has changed from that perspective.

Claire: Yeah, that makes sense. So, there's been a little bit of things that have changed, and then a little not. And that may just be, like a sort of a societal, cultural thing overall, that has to shift, which is like a bigger conversation for people in that space, you know? But that makes a lot of sense.

Carolyn: You know what I've always wanted to see when I was at Universal? I always wanted to see like, a daycare. You know, like- the- a lot of companies, tech companies, have kind of, like, these daycares in the office space where a mom, or, like- people work in the medical field will have a nursery or a daycare. Yeah. Like, explain to me why we can't build out a section and, like, where moms can come? If it's a nursing mom, if it's a new mom, if she can transition into a daycare, I bet you she'd probably work longer hours. She'd be much more present. If the baby is sick, she wouldn't have to leave. She can just go downstairs, make sure the baby is okay, and get back to work. Cost would be much more significant. They can probably lower salaries to not have to- not that we want, that I'm not, I'm not advocating for lower salaries- but you don't have to then worry about the expense of daycare, right, and travel to and from or- all of the extra bottles that you have to buy because they have to go to daycare, and it's a solution that I would love for our industry to explore. 

Claire: Yeah, that's a really good idea. Um, I would love to see that too. I mean, it makes perfect sense, and I don't know why- I don't know why they're not doing it yet. Maybe they will. We can hope.

Carolyn: Yeah.

Claire: Uh, so my other question for you was, really- If you could tell, like, your younger self, you know, with young kiddos and how hard that was at that time, you know, do you have any advice for somebody who's in that space right now, who's, like, really struggling? My job is not- it's all those things.

Carolyn: Don't make big picture decisions when you are really stressed out. There are going to be really hard days. There are going to be days when you're crying and you're stressed and a solution is just not in front of you and- it's just, like, impossible to juggle all of the things. You can't- you can't be excellent at everything when you're nursing a baby. Like you just can't, and you shouldn't, you know? It's not realistic to think that you should go to the gym and go to brunch with your girlfriends and work at an office for 10 hours a day and still be very present. It's not realistic, give yourself grace, understand that this is a period of time that will pass. And I see a lot of people trying to make very big life decisions when they are very, very stressed out, in this time period where their babies are little or need so much attention. Where if you can just put a pause between how you're feeling, right?- And what your response is and just realize that this is going to pass, this is going to get easier, this is going to be more manageable. Say, "A solution will present itself" and you will- and you will be okay. Just try not to make decisions that are going to impact you for a really long time, that you might not be able to walk back because you're very stressed out and unsure. Just- Just pause, breathe, talk to someone, listen to Mamas in Music podcasts, right? Like, find a friend, find a colleague, find someone who's been there. Take your time finding solutions that really, really work for you longer term, not just in the immediate if you can. And I think patience is something that would really be helpful. 

Claire: Yes. I wish that I would have had you. That's what I needed to hear, actually, I think, now that I'm thinking back. I'm like, "Ah," you know. I remember having such a hard time initially because it was COVID, right, when I had my daughter. So, I was just- a lot of it was wanting to, like, get out. I was like, "I feel like I'm trapped," you know? I was talking to a therapist at that time, but I don't know- the way you phrased it made a lot of sense to me, so-

Carolyn: My therapist gave me that advice. You know? I learned this the hard way. I didn't- this wasn't me, like, making good choices and finding this out, it was me learning the hard way that I made big decisions for a period of time that was very temporary, but it didn't feel temporary. It felt permanent. I felt like this is my life now, and I have to make decisions based on this period of time. Where, really it's like, "Hold on a second, sis, you got this. You got it, you got it, you got it. It will be okay. Breathe. Give it a minute." You know, make a wiser decision just by being a little more patient.

Claire: It's really good advice. It's like, you kind of just can't see the forest for the trees when you're inside of that.

Carolyn: Yeah, or you have spit up all over you, right? Or, like, you have a three-year-old boy who's just, like, bouncing on all the couches and screaming. Or, you know, if you have a difficult- My son was, was pretty difficult. He had a lot of behavioral quirks about him, if I'm going to say that. Like he- he's just- from the moment he opens his eyes to the second you- you can try and get him in bed, you know, and asleep, he's on 100% and that was a lot, is a lot and- and there was no downtime for me to just kind of figure things out, because I was always responding to him. So I made very emotional decisions, and everything turned out wonderful, but in time, there are probably smarter choices I could have made.

Claire: I get that completely, um, yeah, that takes- I mean, it's amazing how much energy it takes, especially if you have a kiddo who's got like, a lot of energy themselves, and you- You're right, you can't do everything in this- not only can you not do everything at the same time, but you can't do it in the same way. And so, it definitely is like an adjustment period of figuring out the new normal, and that's hard for everybody. So, I love that advice. Is there anything you would like to share about your business, or anything else?

Carolyn: I think, like I have conversations with moms and music, sometimes they want to hide the fact that they are a mom, or they don't want to share it in the workplace. And I hope that we as moms in music can start celebrating that. I think we shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about being a mom.

Claire: Yeah.

Carolyn: We have to just acknowledge that it's a part of who we are, and shift from there. And it's okay to pause some of our ambition at this moment and deciding what's- what's really most important. Our babies don't need us to be hands on after a certain point. Like, my daughter is 11, and she's like, "Cool. We can talk for 20 minutes, but then I'm gonna go play dress to impress." you know? Like, I- "Why are you talking to me right now? You know, can you please go upstairs and work?" And just knowing that you're going to get there and, it's okay, it's okay to just be a mom right now, and to scale back some of what you have going on, and communicate that and just say it's- I want to maintain some of my mental health. I actually want to keep 20% that I was going to give to you by taking on this extra project, I'm actually going to maintain that, and I'm gonna read a book, or I'm gonna take on yoga, or I'm gonna meditate, or I'm just gonna create a playdate, or I'm just gonna be in the sun with my kid, and-

Claire: Yeah.

Carolyn: And just have that and love it and appreciate it, and don't be embarrassed by that. There are many people that, um, want to have babies and don't know how to do it and kind of look at us like, "Oh, I want to be a mom." And so, when you start talking about being a mom and you start sharing your experiences, you'll be surprised how you can inspire someone to make that decision, to let them know that it is really hard, and we've always been discouraged from being a mom in music, but actually, it's actually really cool now. You know, it's actually really possible, and you have resources, and you have communities like Mamas in Music who can make it even more... easier to make that transition. 

Claire: Yep, even if it's just conversations, and connecting, that in and of itself is valuable, but then providing opportunities and resources is obviously, like, a bigger goal too. But for me, it was just, I just needed people. I was like, "I need people to understand what I do and, like, how to navigate that," you know?

Carolyn: You know... Is it- Are we at a place yet where it's cool to say, "Hey, Mom in Music, can our meeting be at the park?" Like- Like I'm looking forward to that day.

Claire: Yes. And actually, that's so funny, because I'm just about to set up a show in Nashville, like, a show, like a songwriters' round for moms, and it's going to be kid friendly. Like, it's not going to be, like, at eight o'clock at night and then, and I would love kiddos to see their moms doing what they do. It's sort of a win-win, I think.

Carolyn: Yeah, I mean, kids become the generation that we market to. Like by the time that they're like, 12 years old. So, bring them along for the ride. You know, my daughter's- we make jokes all the time, like she's one of the best ANRs she's ever met, because she's showing us new music that's like, really, really good. So, why can't we bring our kids around? Why can't we involve them in the process? And- I don't see a reason not to.

Claire: Yeah, and if you make it accessible, and where it's not like at 11pm at a bar where people are drinking, then it's more like, then you can really- I mean, as an artist, you know, you can bring them along. And that's what I want to start, to help create a little bit more of.

Carolyn: Yeah and I think we have a bit of a sobriety movement in music, also.

Claire: Yeah! Yes.

Carolyn: Where are people drinking a lot less, so.

Claire: [inaudible] at midnight, going to see a show, like, that's- No.

Carolyn: Yeah. Yeah, someone invited me out very late at night. And I'm like, "That's not gonna happen. I appreciate it though."

Claire: I do feel that things are shifting in that direction, however slowly. Yeah, because there are, there's things that are like in the zeitgeist now, and conversations happening, and... If we can be one small part of that, in terms of just like helping some, someone who's pregnant right now, like freaking out, thinking everything, "What am I going to do?"

Carolyn: Yeah.

Claire: -to see that there is a light, and it is actually going to be really cool, and you'll meet amazing people. And-

Carolyn: Yeah, I think we are the movement, you know? I talk to people sometimes and like, "Oh, well, you know, when this happens..." and I'm like, "Well, then you make it happen." You are- You are- Be the catalyst, be the change you want to see. Do the thing. If you want to see parents, you know, taking their moms, taking their kids to shows, just like you: create a show where kids are invited. That is change. That's not waiting for change. It's not like, "Oh, I'm a small part." You literally are the change you want to see. And it's like a reel in the ocean. You throw a rock in and it- and it keeps going. So just be the change.

Claire: 100%. And it doesn't have to be- I think people sometimes think it has to be a big, monumental- like the little things add up. Anyway, well, I love all this. I would love for you to kind of talk just a little bit about how if moms want to get involved with Big.Ass.Kids, like, yeah, just give me the logistics of that real quick so we can share that.

Carolyn: Yeah, absolutely. So, I believe B.A.K is listed under Member Resources for- on Mamas in Music, right? And there's a link there that Marissa posted so you guys can use that to sign up. Or we also have the sandbox now. So, if there is a mama in music who was impacted by the layoffs, or just financially in a place where they could really use a community, but it might be out of touch for them, just contact me. I got you. You know, I'd much rather you be in the community than not. 100%, like, no questions asked. If you reach out and be like, I can use a sandbox membership I got you, you're in. You know, if someone has a question, if they want to walk through, I'm entirely accessible. It might, it might take me a day or so to respond, but, you know, I'm entirely accessible, and we'll make sure that I can provide whatever resources I can for someone. 

Claire: Yeah. It's amazing. I love what you guys are doing.

Carolyn: Thank you.

Claire: And you know, I'm gonna dive back in there at some point here, but I've been like, a little bit of a- post, release, post, all this stuff, like, break.

Carolyn: I'm so proud of you. You know, I think you're doing amazing. Your new music is phenomenal. The visuals you're putting out is phenomenal. And, and that's the beauty of the Play.Ground. It's- it's here when you need it. And-

Claire: Yeah!

Carolyn: And we also proactively right pitch you for opportunities that come through our door. So, there's been times I'm like, "Oh, this would be good for Claire," whatever, then it went to the left or to the right direction. But being part of the community allows you the opportunity for Big.Ass.Kids to plug you into stuff that we have going on.

Claire: That's amazing. Yep. And you know, I'll be doing a new album next year. So, like, my plan is, if I had to do a full length now. So, you know. We'll stay- stay tuned.

Carolyn: Yeah, we'll do whatever we can do to help, let us know.

Claire: Awesome. Well, this was perfect.

Carolyn: Thank you so much, Claire, I appreciate it.

Claire: Thank you. Have fun in the rest of- the rest of your time in LA.

Carolyn: Thank you.

Claire: I'll talk to you soon.

Mamas in Music is a non-profit global organization with a mission to empower advance careers and advocate for mothers in the music industry. You can join us by becoming a member today at mamasinmusic.org/membership.

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